Choose Joy: Find the Light During the Dark Days of December

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” – Henri Nouwen

Choose joy. It sounds so simple, especially during the holidays. But the dark days of December often bring a mixed bag of emotions for many of us.

People around the world celebrate various religious traditions and the Winter Solstice this time of year. We light up our homes, decorate trees, swap White Elephant gifts, don Ugly Christmas sweaters, and binge watch holiday movies. We honor the natural world – and the longest night – and set intentions for the coming year. 

December is a season of contradiction. Happy and sad. Light and dark. Connection and isolation. Celebration and reflection. Joy and grief. Peace and pain. 

The holidays can stir up all kinds of feelings and memories. Some people love the festive parties, music, and lights. They enjoy big family celebrations and religious traditions. 

Time for a pep talk

For others, like myself, the dark days of December can’t pass quickly enough. My personal countdown to the Winter Solstice begins after we push the clock back an hour in early November. Many people struggle with the lack of daylight, compounded by overcast skies, this time of year. 

The truth is the holidays are heavy for many people. We wear social masks, smile and laugh, derail our diets, say yes when we mean no, spend money we don’t have, and play the part of happy.

We secretly stuff feelings of grief, guilt, and depression. It’s a hard time for people dealing with addiction, homelessness or job loss (like myself), who have broken families, or silently grieve loved ones who have passed away.

I have had an ex-husband (my high school boyfriend) and his brother, my only nephew (who was a twin), and dog all die within days of Christmas. My dog had to be put to sleep and the other three were suicides – a grief that never really goes away. My dog, Taylor, had been my side since age 20 and made several moves with me – from Florida to Muncie, Indiana, then Frankfort and Columbus, Indiana, and finally Muskegon, Michigan. 

Choose joy and self-care

Every year, I give myself a pep talk. Choose Joy. Find the light. Give yourself grace. Accept that you feel sad. This too shall pass.

And it does. But getting through the holidays can be tough. So, I have learned to be proactive about my self-care and very aware that my mood and energy dips during December. I try to get ahead of the grief by focusing on things that bring me joy.

My “choose joy” attitude actually started after an end-of-semester bus trip to Chicago, organized by Muskegon Community College, in 2017. Even on a cold December day, I had a blast walking around downtown and seeing the city decorated for the holidays. I started wondering: What if I had chosen Big City life?

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Find the light

Here are five tips to find the light and choose joy during the dark days of December:

1. Visit a downtown light display

Most of the tree lightings take place around Thanksgiving, but trees remain lit until New Year’s Day in many communities. Almost every town has one. Even better, they are free to see. Go ahead and snap those selfies! In recent years, we have visited Chicago, Detroit, Indianapolis, Traverse City, Manistee, and Northport.

Muskegon’s Hackley Park is a favorite local stop. We also enjoy visiting Holland during the off-season. People go wild for the tulips in May, but I enjoy the quaint feel during the holidays. 

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Northport tree worth the trip

If you’re planning a trip up north, make the drive up the Leelanau Peninsula to see Northport’s live tree. Northport also offers free carriage rides and other activities on Saturdays in December. Visit Northport Nutcrackers to learn more about the nutcracker display through Jan. 5. And share those final wishes with Santa at 6 p.m. Dec. 24 at The Mitten Brewing Company.

Make it an M-22 holiday tour and visit Leland’s Old Art Building for an outdoor tree display, Glen Arbor for unique shopping, and Frankfort-Beulah for other holiday festivities. Check out Oliver Arts Center in Frankfort for special classes and events. Frankfort hosted Mistletoe Magic on Dec. 16, and we joined in the fun with a free carriage ride.   

2. Take in a holiday concert or market

The one thing I do love about December is the holiday music. Live music uplifts the spirit, and you can catch a concert, play, or ballet at every price point.

On Dec. 9, I watched a friend perform in the West Michigan Concert Winds December Delights at The Playhouse at White Lake. She even gave me a ticket! This intimate concert featured various ensembles performing a range of holiday music. A couple of years ago, we enjoyed a similar performance at Frauenthal Theater.

The DeVos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids is another intimate venue with upcoming performances of The Nutcracker, Mannheim Steamroller Christmas, and Grand Rapids Symphony West Holiday Pops. Downtown Grand Rapids also has a tree and ice skating rink. 

Nearby, Frederik Meijer Gardens hosts Christmas & Holiday Traditions through Jan. 7. This annual exhibition honors cultures and traditions from around the world with festive trees and cultural displays. Plus, enjoy winter plantings, the tropical conservatory, and Railway Garden.

The grounds sparkle with 350,000 lights indoors and out. You can take a nature walk and explore the sculptures or watch the award-winning film joy in Hoffman Auditorium. Click Joy to watch the video. Winter Glow is a new immersive light show choreographed to holiday music outdoors near The American Horse. 

Shop, eat at holiday markets 

And nothing says Chicago at Christmas like Christkindlmarket! The authentic German-style market draws an estimated million people during the holiday season. The market runs through December 24 and features food, vendors, and a festive atmosphere. Admission is always free. 

Closer to home, Holland celebrates its Dutch heritage with the outdoor Kerstmarkt, featuring holiday greenery, unique gifts, and homemade goodies. And Grand Rapids Christkindl Markt at the Downtown Market has exceeded expectations in its first year. You can shop artisan food and gift vendors at West Michigan’s largest traditional European Christmas Village through Dec. 23.

3. Explore a walk-thru or drive-thru display

Holland debuted Magic at the Mill last year, and we love it. We returned again this year after I scored half-price tickets on Black Friday. This unique attraction has sold out most weekends and ends Dec. 16. It’s a chance to see Windmill Island Gardens aglow in thousands of white lights. The gazebo, the bridge, and the windmill provide a unique backdrop for photos.

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Young and old can snap a photo with Sinterklaas, dance around the authentic Dutch street organ (my favorite), and enjoy a colorful field of tulips synchronized to holiday music. Pick up a waffle on a stick, shop for Dutch gifts in the gift shop, or let the children ride on the carousel.     

Glenlore Trails: Aurora in Commerce Township is an immersive wintry experience for all ages. Enjoy a one-mile walk through a Michigan forest illuminated with a half million holiday lights, interactive displays, and entertainment.

If you prefer to stay in your car, Lights Gone Wild is a half-mile drive-thru display at Traverse City State Park. The display returned this year after 17 years and pays tribute to Clinch Park Zoo. The lights are lit every evening through Dec. 31 (closed on Christmas Day). $20 per car.

Sparkle in the Park in Bear Lake is another popular drive-thru light show with 50 unique displays created by local businesses. You can also park and walk around. It’s worth it to get out of your car and see each display up close, especially the award winners. You can sit in some of them for festive photos.

Sparkle in the Park is free, but donations are encouraged. You might even hear live caroling or spot Santa Claus. Sparkle in the Park runs 5-10 p.m. through Jan. 1 at Hopkins Park on the shores of Bear Lake.

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4. Sign up for a crafting class 

Bless the public libraries! If you’re on a tight budget, the library is a great option for free family and adult fun. The library offers several craft programs this time of year, or gather friends for a DIY project. You can make ornaments, holiday table centerpieces, wreaths, or even wrap gifts together. Celebrate the solstice with these home decorating ideas.

Last February, I embarked on The Artist’s Way Course. The course requires a weekly artist date with yourself. I have tried to keep up my artist date, switching between a craft, hike, museum, concert, or something of the sort. My first artist date was a drawing class held via Zoom through Muskegon Area District Library.  

In the last week, I attended a peppermint body scrub class, made a snow globe, and created a Filipino parol lantern. All free! The North Muskegon branch even hosted a cellist concert. Check out upcoming events at Muskegon Area District Library. What’s next? I’m going to try to crochet. 

If you prefer the kitchen, try your hand at baking or whatever puts and keeps you in the present moment. That is where you find joy. The present. 

5. Go for a nature walk 

They say nature therapy is among the best therapy, especially if you have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I do believe it’s true. Read more here on natural treatments that work. Hit your favorite trail or head to the shore for some rock hunting. Just get outside. 

Muskegon Luge opens its trails for Hike the Lights in November and December. It’s a good way to get outdoors and stay active until the snow flies and winter sports begin. This year, the trails will be open 5-10 p.m. until Dec. 26.

Muskegon Luge at Muskegon State Park offers plenty of winter fun through March (weather permitting). Learn more about this unique winter park in my article, Thrill-Seeking in Muskegon.

With warmer temperatures in December, you can hike, bicycle, and rock hunt longer. Last year, we found several Petoskey stones during a New Year’s Eve trip to Traverse City. You can stop in Northport Trading Post for some rockhounding tips and supplies or schedule a rock polishing class this winter. That’s a fun time, too. Read my story about it in the winter 2023 issue of Michigan BLUE. 

Make your own fun

If all else fails, gather family or friends, pile in the car, turn up the holiday tunes, and take a drive to look at neighborhood light displays. We stopped by the Chase Family Christmas Lights Display in Twin Lake a few years ago. Pure Christmas delight! 

Who knows, maybe you’ll recall some fond memories of Christmases past, of childhood trips in the station wagon, of the reason for the season. You just might find the magic in snow and lights.

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Choose joy. Find the light. Give yourself and others grace. Be kind. Be a blessing and help others when you can.

And remember the darkness is temporary. The light does return.  

Hold

On

Pain

Ends 

In loving memory of my nephew, Nikalas Jay DeWeese. It still seems so unreal. We will always love you.

You matter. You are not alone. Help is available. Call 988 Suicide and Crisis helpline or visit 988lifeline.org.

Marla R. Miller is an award-winning journalist, travel writer, and content marketing writer who lives in Norton Shores. Please “like” or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or LinkedIn. Let me help grow your business. Check out my writing services or Read My Work.